Ways You Can Ease The Impact Of Conflict Divorce On Your Children

Parents usually don’t know what their children are thinking while children hide their emotions and feelings too for several reasons, and parents believe that everything is going great so far. Children usually didn’t know how to express their true feelings. Divorce is so common these days, especially in the US about 40-50 percent of marriages end. Although divorce is common worldwide, as a parent do you make your divorce easy for your children? Or does this not affect your children mentally and emotionally? Many parents are unaware of their child’s condition after divorce. Following are some ways that parents must follow to ease the impact of divorce on their children. Don’t forget to consult Ludmer Law because it is one of the most recommended law firms when it comes to conflict divorce.

  • Control Anger In Front Of Your Children

Divorce is a stressful situation for parents but understanding children’s condition is important as a parent. You should try to control anger in front of children. Children’s comfort zone is their own house from which they can live peacefully. Usually, parents fighting makes children anxious, so it is better to keep out your children in any family conflict.

  • Ensure Your Child That Divorce Is Not Their Fault

You need to explain to your child that the divorce is not because of them, relationships and understanding change with time. Tell them not to worry about adults’ problems and let your parents handle them. Show love and care to your child and make them assure that their parents are with them in every circumstance.

  • Handle Your Child’s Reaction

If your child is upset about your divorce, handle them with love and affection; tell them that you care for their feelings and emotions. Sometimes, children hide their emotions with parents and tell them that everything is fine, but stress may come out in other places like in schools, gatherings, and friends circle, or changes in behavior and mood. As your child is worried about your separation, make them feel love, support them and tell them that both mother and father love you.

  • Speak Positively About Your Ex-Husband

Dealing with your ex-husband is quite difficult especially when your children are around. Speak positive words about your ex-husband even if he was not a good husband for you. Negative words will change children’s perception of their parents and they might think that their parents are not good people.

  • Make A Plan To Tell Children About Divorce

Although being honest is not easy, especially when you don’t have all the answers or when your children are feeling guilty, planning to tell the truth is a good option to avoid guilt. If the decision of divorce is final, explain this in a polite way to your children, speak to your children together that:

  • Mom and Dad are getting a divorce.
  • It is not the children’s fault.
  • Both parents love their children very much.
  • They are always with you.
  • They will help and support you.

By telling children about your divorce will create fear about your separation, but with time, they can cope with it, as a parent shares your thoughts with them, then they will also share their problems with you.


The divorce between parents can create most of the problems and you might need the help of a lawyer from Ludmer Law, and following these above five tips, you can reduce the negative effect on your children, and prove to them that despite living separately you are a good parent. We highly recommend you to visit Ludmer Law in case of any divorce conflict.

Temporary Injunctions

A divorce, especially contested divorces, can be extremely stressful for every party involved. Both spouses are most likely experiencing the emotional toil of separating their lives from someone the once loved. This process can put stress on a person that they may have never experienced before and cause them to act out in surprising ways. Because of the potential for unlikely behavior in these circumstances, many state court systems have the right to order temporary injunctions to prevent or protect certain actions of both parties.

These temporary actions are ordered to protect the court’s ability to make an informed and just decision, especially in the case of a contested divorce. There are numerous different actions that the courts can request, including ones that protect personal property against damage by one party. The court can demand a mandatory inventory of all personal and shared property so that it can be equitably distributed.

These actions can also require one party to continue behavior, like payment of fees, bills and support of the other party. The court can also impose the separation of the two parties during court proceedings if the court feels like there is a threat of violence. Included in this may be the right of just one spouse to occupy a family residence. The courts will work to ensure that both parties can continue their necessary and normal daily functions. They can do this by enforcing temporary restraining orders or similar actions. These injunction serve to protect the ability of the court to make a fair decision in the case.

It is important to understand the legal ramifications of a divorce filing.

Adultery and Divorce

An affair will cause extreme tension and hostility in a marriage. The emotional toll it can have on a couple is extreme. This is why infidelity and affairs are the second largest reason for divorce in America. It follows closely behind the stress and arguments that go with handling joint finances. When adultery has occurred, and is one cause for a marriage falling apart, the divorce proceedings may be run slightly differently.

Many lucky couples are able to work through their differences when finding a fair settlement. They may see eye to eye on what the terms of a divorce should include. These couples typically choose the types of divorces that require little legal action, such as collaborative and mediated divorces. However, if one person feels extremely wronged due to adultery, coming to a settlement agreement may be far more difficult and can result in a judge making the final call in the terms of the settlement decision.

Infidelity will most likely change the terms of a prenuptial agreement. However, if one person cheats in the relationship, the agreement may state that it will affect alimony payments and other issues. However, in order for this to happen, the adultery would have to be proven to the court.

For a person to turn to another for their sexual and emotional needs, it is most likely means that their marriage is already on the rocks. An affair just may be the last string in the dissolving of a marriage. However, there are legal implications when adultery is one reason for divorce.

For more information about adultery and divorce, visit the website of the Orlando divorce attorneys of The Schlegel Law Firm.

Online Access For Divorce Records Search

Vital records are normally maintained by every state. Usually, they are stored at the state’s Vital Records Office. However, if you wished to find Arizona Divorce Records, then that is not the best place for you to go. The said information is only available at the Clerk of the Superior Court in the county where the event occurred. Normally, a cost per copy is required before the result will be released to the requester.

The corresponding fees are payable through money orders, Debit cards, Visa, or MasterCard. Take note, personal checks are not accepted. In making a request for this document, make sure to include in your application a copy of a photo I.D. or have your request notarized.

Certainly, there are a lot of reasons why people are now searching for this information. It is important when you’re dating, in a relationship, or are about to get married. The details that it contains enable you to further investigate the personal background of your partner or prospective spouse. Hence, it keeps you and your family safe and secured from any possible harm. If the other party was previously divorced, it reveals the real reasons for the separation.

In the past, one of the most common ways of acquiring this document is to hire a private investigator. Nevertheless, this was found to be costly and time-consuming. The good news is you can now have the information that you need in just a matter of minutes only. The credit for such great innovation goes to the Internet. Hence, you can now conduct your own investigation at the comfort and privacy of your own home, making you save more time and money.

Still other reasons for retrieving this file include the loss of the original copies, to check on the status of current motions or filings in an ongoing case, and to find out the status of someone you’re dating. In order to have a complete report, make sure to gather relevant information such as the couple’s full names, the county where the papers were filed, current or previous address, and the date of the divorce decree.

Naturally, Divorce Records are open documents to the public. That means that anyone can view and use it for various purposes. The information per se is free, but obtaining it still requires a charge per copy. Depending on the jurisdiction of the state, some divorce records may be considered sealed. Usually, that happens if the case contains sensitive information such as physical or sexual abuse of minor children.

6 Useful Tips for Handling Divorce Court

If you’ve never gone through a divorce before, you should know what happens in divorce court. You may worried this will go downhill fast, but if you follow the tips in this guide, listen to your lawyer, and prepare, you should be fine.

What happens in divorce court?

Well, it’s not a battle and it’s not a war. Both sides make the case, argue on child custody, property, and money, and a judge makes a decision.

How You Dress Says a Lot

This does depend on the man and woman question. Some suggest women should not dress “sexy,” but really that’s quite obvious. Be professional: act like this is an important interview. You need not wear the dress showing all your legs nor the leather jacket with all the holes. Dress for success, not to make a big impression.

Be Honest, Be Fair

Be honest with your lawyer, be honest with the judge, and be fair with your spouse. You are more than likely going to lose some things, unless there is clear evidence of wrong doing on one side. Some take divorce court as an opportunity to get back at their spouse; if he or she cheated on you, it’s understandable to be angry. However, the more honest you are, the more mature you act, the better you will look to a judge. Though you may want to strike a home run, just play it safe.

Respect the Judge

Show your divorce judge respect. Instead of being smart – or trying to explain every detail of your side – be honest with the judge and understand he or she has a lot of power in your case. If you play smart, be disrespectful, how will that help your case?


Rarely will a divorce which has to go to court – instead of mediation – be agreements and farewells. Your emotions may get the best of you. You have a right to show them, but avoid doing so in court. If you cry through the whole proceeding, or explain to the judge how much you hate your spouse, it helps nothing. Will it ruin your case? Not always, but if you act unprofessional, it may hurt the final decision.

Refer to Your Lawyer

Finally, walk every step your lawyer tells you to, say what he or she tells you to, be quiet when your lawyer asks, and only contradict them when it’s not a legal issue. Yes, you are paying this lawyer, but you are paying him or her for court room experience.

Getting A Divorce Is Not Easy

When it comes to divorce, there is nothing fun about it. No matter what happened, it is always a sad ordeal. Families get broken apart and there is a lot to deal with not to mention that it does get expensive. If you need a divorce, there are ways to get through it and by employing a divorce attorney or divorce lawyer, they can help you and guide you through all of the steps you need to take. Make sure you get a good attorney is the most important point because you do not want your soon to be ex- spouse getting everything you own which would make the process even more difficult than it was in the first place.

A few things to consider when getting a divorce is that being friendly is very important. You may not like that person at the particular time depending on what happened, but fighting and being nasty to one another is only going to make the situation ten times worse. The more mad you make the other person, the more miserable they will want you to be as well so keep that in mind when you find silly reasons to argue about something. Although divorce can seem like a bad thing, some people get divorced and can still be friendly with one another after the whole thing. This is quite possible.

Keeping track of expenses and joint bank accounts will also be important. You may want to gather all of your info, but before you do anything drastic, consult your attorneys because you do not want to do anything that will hurt you in the long run. If you and your spouse have been living apart for a while and decide it is time to get an official divorce, make sure you keep track of any money you give them to borrow or money that you owe them. Writing checks are good ways to have proof that you actually paid them. If you use cash, no one will have concrete proof of it and you could get yourself into trouble.

Letting your attorney figure a lot of the issues for you is the safest because unless you have divorced many times, you probably do not know what you are talking about and we all know that they do. Sit down with them and discuss what you want but do not get too greedy or say anything negative about the other side.

Divorces can be rough, if you have kids, you will need to figure out child support and custody. If you have pets, you will need to figure out who gets to keep who. All of these things are just parts of the big process. Getting help from a counselor or close friend that you can vent to can also be nice because you can get your anger or sadness out without causing problems for yourself. A counselor would probably be best however because you do not want to poor your heart out to a friend and have them get annoyed with you. Counselors can be expensive so talking to a family member could also help.

Step by Step Instruction on How to Find Divorce Records

Nowadays divorce records are no longer confidential, which makes it legal to search for any persons records. Obtaining these records is an easy process as all you need is time, a computer and internet access as well as your debit or credit card.

There are many different sites that offer their services and one really has to shop around in order to find a reputable agency. In order to check if the company is reputable or not just read the reviews and customer comments. Most of these agencies ask you to sign up and charge a small fee. Then there are also free websites which allow you to search at your own leisure.

Another method of finding divorce records is to go to governmentregistry.org, then once you are on the website go to civil records and click on the tab marriage and divorce. An application form will come up and you need to fill this form in with all the relevant information required such as the first and last name of the person you are looking for as well as the state where the person got divorced.

Once the application form has been completed then just click search. The website will then display all relevant searches, and all you need do is choose the one you are looking for. Once you choose the one you are looking choose that name and click next. You will then be asked to make a payment. Once you have made the payment you will then receive the divorce records. It’s as easy as that.

No matter what the reasons are for looking for a particular person’s records, you will have to put in some effort. If you find that you are unable to locate the information you requested, then you need to carry on searching and just keep trying one state at a time. It is important to get as much information on the person as possible such as full names, date of birth, date of marriage, date of divorce, which county did this take place and as much info as you can get.

After trying all the different avenues with no success you may have to sign up with a tracing agency and pay the stipulated fee required. On the other hand you can visit the county court or department of justice personally and fill in the necessary application forms requesting the divorce records.

What Are the Grounds For Divorce in the State of Illinois?

In the state of Illinois, there are 11 grounds for divorce. Grounds 2-11 require proof that the non-moving party (your spouse), without cause or provocation from you, was at fault because of one of these reasons.

  1. Irreconcilable Differences: this is also known as “no-fault,” and is the only grounds for divorce that does not require the moving party to prove his or her spouse is at fault for the marital breakup.
  2. Spouse was already married when marriage transpired.
  3. Spouse committed adultery after you were married.
  4. Spouse has infected you with a sexually transmitted disease.
  5. Spouse was naturally impotent at the time of the marriage, and continues to be naturally impotent.
  6. Spouse willfully deserted or chooses to be absent for one year.
  7. Spouse is habitually drunk for the duration of 2 years.
  8. Spouse is guilty of gross and confirmed habits caused by the excessive use of addictive drugs for the duration of 2 years.
  9. Spouse has been convicted of a felony or other infamous crime.
  10. Spouse has used extreme and repeated physical or mental cruelty toward you.
  11. Spouse has made attempts to end your life by poison or other means showing malice.

As the moving party in the divorce you bear the burden of proof. This means you must be prepared to provide proof that your spouse committed one of Illinois’ eleven grounds for divorce. Ask your lawyer about what that proof must or may consist of.

When children are involved in the divorce it is advised to hire a child custody or family law attorney and mediator. They specialize in divorces that involve children and can help you make the divorce less negative for your kids.

Who Gets The Marital Home?

You owned your home prior to your marriage. You wrote the check for the down payment. You made every mortgage payment, kept the property taxes current, paid the utilities, funded the remodeling, even during your marriage. Only your name is on the title. So, the home is yours, right? After all, your spouse merely moved into it, your spouse’s name is not on the title, not a dime from your spouse went to it.

Not necessarily. “Title” to real estate is not the same as a “marital interest” in real estate. Title is the link between the person who owns property and the property itself – that is, it is the legal right establishing ownership. Marital interest, on the other hand, is a right to a share of the property. This may be a legal interest or an equitable interest depending on the statutes in your state. This marital interest is why, for example, a husband who is the “sole owner” on his home mortgage or deed can end up having to pay his wife half the value of home’s equity at divorce.

What rights you and your spouse have to your home and the property inside depend on the facts of your case. If you are divorced, then your divorce decree should state those rights. If you are separated but not divorced, you are in a precarious position. If you deny your spouse access to the house, you may deprive her or him of other personal property (this is a crime in some states) or paint yourself as the unreasonable spouse bent on doing no good in court. This tarnishes your credibility. But, your spouse may encumber property or sell it and conceal the profits if you let him or her inside.

Even if you owned your home prior to your marriage, your spouse will raise three arguments to take a share of it when you divorce:

1. The property is comingled. Commingled property is assets and debts that were nonmarital but which were traded in to acquire new property during the marriage, repaired or enhanced during the marriage with marital funds, or, in some states, treated as marital property by written agreement or use during the marriage. A good example is a classic car purchased as a bachelor that you remodeled during your marriage with money you earned at work and deposited into a joint bank account. The statutes and case law in your state will dictate the extent, if any, your court will separate the marital from the nonmarital components of the property. Some courts refuse to do any separating, reasoning that the nonmarital property lost its status forever as soon as marital property mixed with it. Other courts will attempt separate valuations if the evidence presented is sufficient. A skilled attorney and expert testimony from an appraiser are essential here. The valuation is more difficult if the period of time of the comingled status is lengthy or the circumstances in which the property became comingled are complex. Do a cost-benefit analysis with your attorney to determine whether the fees you spend to prove the separate, nonmarital valuation are worth the anticipated value you will retain.

2. The property appreciated during the marriage. Appreciation is the property’s increase in value. During the marriage, the appreciation may be passive or active. Passive appreciation is the increase in value due to the surrounding circumstances, not your conduct. Active appreciation, on the other hand, is the increase in value due to your contribution, such as remodeling, reinvesting, and so forth. In most states, passive appreciation is not marital property. However, active appreciation due to one or both spouse’s involvement during the marriage, financial or otherwise, is. For example, in Reeves v Reeves, 226 Mich App 490; 575 NW2d 1 (1997), the Michigan Court of Appeals held that real estate equity that accumulated before the parties’ marriage in a home and several rental properties the husband owned was the husband’s nonmarital property because he had supplied the down payment and the mortgage payments, but the real estate equity that accrued during the marriage was marital property subject to division because it was attributable to the parties’ use, remodeling and management during the marriage. In addition, the entire equity of a rental property the husband purchased prior to the marriage was his nonmarital property because the appreciation was “wholly passive,” due to neither his nor his wife’s activities during the marriage.

3. The property is invadable. Invadable property is one spouse’s property the court nonetheless divides because the facts and circumstances of the case, as applied to the law for invasion, justify division. Each state has a different invasion law, so be sure to research the laws in your state to determine what, if any, invasion will occur in your case. In general, however, the laws allow invasion if the other spouse “needs” a share of the property due to an inequitable division of marital property or other financially dire circumstances and/or the spouse contributed to the property’s acquisition, use or maintenance, such as by helping to remodel it.

If you are concerned about your rights to pre-marriage property, you should carefully document what property you believe is yours, when you acquired it, what you did with it during your marriage (encumbered it, remodeled it, used it together, etc), and your guesstimated value. This information will be helpful as you negotiate your divorce settlement. Be prepared to address the comingled, appreciated and invadable arguments. Create a timeline for the property. Obtain appraisals to support your arguments. Most of all, do a cost-benefit analysis to determine whether the attorney fees and costs you incur to keep your property yours is worth the value, financial and sentimental value alike.

Responding To The Crime Of Paternity Fraud

Paternity fraud is a serious challenge to the legal establishment, even though it is not legally defined as a crime. Paternity fraud occurs when a woman identifies the wrong man as the father of her child. The man may believe that he is the father and ends up having to pay a substantial portion of his income in child support, until the child reaches adulthood. This often happens when a woman has an extra marital affair that results in a pregnancy. Often, women cover this up by naming their husband as the father. Paternity fraud usually takes place when the man does not doubt that he is the child’s father and is under the impression that he was the woman’s only sexual partner during their relationship or at the time of conception.

The consequences of this are far reaching, and affect not only the man, but also the child. The man is legally required to pay child support and can go to jail if he is unable to do so. The child can end up losing many means of support such as social security benefits, its inheritance, military benefits, and the knowledge of its paternal family history. Because paternity fraud is not generally recognized as a crime, it has become widespread and endemic. Read on to learn about the best recourses for responding to paternity fraud.

If you suspect that you are a victim of paternity fraud, the first course of action you should take is to seek expert legal advice. Your lawyer will be able to tell you what the best legal course of action will be. You should not pursue legal action before being properly advised and briefed by a competent lawyer who has experience in dealing with paternity and paternity fraud issues.

You should be aware that there is still not much precedent of men being compensated and relieved of financial fraud. In fact, men who are often clearly not the child’s father are still required by law to keep supporting it. This happens so often because the state has a vested interest in mothers naming their children’ fathers, so that the state does not need to support the child out of its own finances. Child support money is known to significantly swell federal bank balances.

The legal actions you can take can include DNA testing. DNA testing is a test of genetic material and can determine with more than 99% accuracy whether you are the child’s father or not. DNA testing is a tried and tested method of establishing a genetic link between a man and his alleged offspring. DNA testing is routinely available in labs throughout the country, but you may require the mother’s assent or a court’s order in order to be able to have it done, which can often be hard to obtain. This is why good legal counsel is of crucial in paternity fraud cases.

Recent legal developments have given defrauded men some reason to cheer. Many states are considering changing their antiquated paternity laws in light of new technologies such as DNA fingerprinting which are capable of determining paternity without any doubt. Courts now often require DNA testing before a man is required to shoulder the responsibility of providing for a child. Divorce cases commonly require DNA testing as a matter of course. You should be aware of all your legal options should the need arise, and therefore it is essential that you hire a good lawyer, one who is experienced and proficient in paternity fraud cases.

Responding to paternity fraud is difficult and your legal options can sometimes be limited, but with the right legal counsel, there is no reason you cannot overcome the fraud and even counter claim for damages.

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